Healthy attitude

Medicine is something I was always interested in, particularly neuroscience. But it was mostly an intellectual exercise combined with increasing appreciation for the wonders of creation. When one of my children turned out to be very allergic to quite an impressive list of substances ( whoever heard of someone being allergic to garlic?),I decided to do some research. First we tried the standard route - allergists, benadryl, hydrocortisone, etc. There was only one problem, it didn't help and I was not so enthused about my infant getting addicted to antihistamines or using steroids on regular basis. As I discovered, allergies are a fairly undiscovered field and therefore the possible solutions in conventional medicine were few and formulaic. So out of desperation I started looking for alternatives and discovered a whole new (or rather old) field of natural medicine. Eventually someone recommended a homeopath. I was desperate, my husband was skeptical, both of us prayed that we should find some relief for our child. The homeopathic treatment worked and relieved his symptoms so he could function, thank G-d ( he is still allergic but his reactions are not as severe). In the process though I learned a lot about the human body and the amazing way it works and a whole lot about natural ways to treat many different problems that could arise. Having gone through this experience and becoming more informed about health and various related issues, I also gained more confidence about making decisions about my family's health. I am not anti conventional medicine but neither am I totally under the sway of New England Journal of Medicine to the exclusion of all else. I particularly like to read naturopaths who are also MDs, or MDs who also use naturopathic treatments in their practices, I think one gets a more balanced view that way. One of these days I'll hopefully write a post on my favorite natural health books(consider yourself forewarned). But either way medicine, study of plants, etc and their effects on the human body makes for a very interesting study. One can also use it as a great springboard for health related topics such as healthy living, nutrition, home remedies, various branches of medicine, history, chemistry, biology and other sciences, anatomy and of course various practical, mussar and metaphysical implications of how and why our bodies are organized the way they are. And if neuroscience tickles your fancy, try books by Oliver Sacks, he has quite a few popular books on the subject (just ask my editor:).

Them foreigners...

I am always looking for ideas on improved and optimized foreign language instruction. So here are a few of my favorite tips, many of them from a book called How to Learn Any Language. Keep in mind that any serious attempt to acquire a new language requires a lot of perseverance, I speak of experience:)
- If you know a different language use it regularly with your kids and start as early as possible, ignore all attempts of the younger generation to dissuade you from your goal
- Read the local newspapers and magazines. It will give you the most frequently used word supply as well as the local news.
-Keep a journal in your target language
-Read native classics in your target language
-Read your favorite books translated into your target language
-Use copywork to internalize your target language and get a feel for usage and grammar

Now all I have to do is follow my own advice:)

Where fantasy and reality collide

This morning I heard my 3 year old announcing at some unearthly hour " Time to wake up" in a very loud voice . At first I thought oh no, not now but then it got me thinking. It is Elul after all:) A friend of mine once read to me something very astute from a book called Holy Diet or something like that. The author wrote that it used to be that art imitated life but these days you find that it is life that is imitating art. For example a person watches a movie and gets a certain picture of reality from it and then attempts to apply those ideas or values to his life most often resulting in great disappointment because of course the picture that the movie projects is not a picture of true reality. Rabbi Abraham Twerski M.D., who is a psychiatrist, writes in his books that many emotional pathologies result from a person having a wrong perception of reality, such as lack of self-esteem or addiction. When a person is totally incapable of differentiating between reality and fantasy in a very extreme way, we call it insanity. Besides inducing a really distorted view of reality, movies, computer games, video games, etc. are extremely addictive and are often a callosal waste of time . Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen in his book to Kindle a Soul has statistics and cites studies to support that thesis. One of the things that I found particularly striking was a study that showed that even if a person was just staring at a blank screen his metabolism rate dropped. Watching something, therefore is basically a training in passivity, to sit and do nothing while someone else is imposing their view of reality on you. A lot of Judaism is about actions, that's why there are so many mitzvos. We are supposed to work on ourselves both internally and externally. We are not supposed to be passive observers, but active participants in life. Sefer Hachinuch writes that a person makes himself into something according to his actions. Therefore good actions make a good person and empty actions an empty one. To spend one's life on emptiness while perverting one's sense of true reality and self is a terrible thing. When a person is reading a book of value he needs to make an effort to create a mental image, to react to what he is reading somehow, to digest the information but with videos etc. all the work, including thinking is done for you. And I am not even talking about inappropriate content. That is why I am against too much regular watching of anything even educational stuff. Same for video games and hours of internet surfing. It is true especially for young children but even older ones, when they are still developing their fundamental habits and views that will shape their future lives. It's true for adults as well. My daughter was right, it's time to wake up.

Birthday surprises

This morning my seven year old decided to make a surprise for his brother's sixth birthday. He wrote and decorated a birthday card that conveyed his birthday wishes and love in two languages. He decorated his brother's chair with wrapping paper, stickers and pipe cleaners and only lamented the lack of balloons in the house. The occasion called for a present. So he took one of the books that we had, made sure that it was one that his brother would enjoy, wrapped it, ceremoniously inscribed his brother's name inside the cover and presented it to the birthday boy. All of this was going on in the morning before they had to go to school. Just thinking about it puts a smile on my face. I guess someone has been listening to one of my many lectures on the importance of being good to one's siblings:) I am not a big party person but I do like small family celebrations especially the impromptu kinds like the one above. I read some really great birthday present ideas in the Tightwad Gazzette by Amy Dacyzyn , which is one of my favorite frugality books. I have since implemented some of those ideas with great success so I think they are worth sharing here. One idea is to take an envelope decorate it, put the child's name on it and insert a number of hand designed coupons ( as many as the child's age?) for something a child would enjoy like a treat, a date to do something special with a parent or a sibling, something extra like an opportunity to stay up later than usual, etc. Another great ideas is a themed combination gift that could be assambled from storebought or homemade or secondhand materials. For example you can make an artist's kit, get a garage sale backpack or decorate an old luch box or little suitcase, put in paper and lots of different art supplies, a smock, etc. You can do a doctor's kit or a gardening kit or whatever your child might like kit, use your imagination. Another idea is to give a personalized gift, one year I decorated a clipboard and made a matching notebook with my child's name in calligraphy, attached a pen and voila ! Children have to learn to appreciate that there are things that money can't buy. That there is something very special about a family member or a friend taking their time to make or put together something unique just for them. They have to learn to give from the heart and to take other people's needs and desires into consideration. And also realize that a special gift doesn't have to cost a fortune and to use their creativity and ingenuity to may be even make a gift from something they already have on hand. So here is to many, many more happy birthday surprises!!!

Child's play

It was a beautiful end of summer day. The breeze caressed my face as I relaxed in an easy chair attempting to read a book. I was surrounded by beautiful green plants interspersed now and then with bright colored flowers. Behind me was a to die for gorgeous hilly view so common to where I live. My little people buzzed around me like bees. They were swinging and rolling and rocking and running and scooting. The big smiles, the bickering about turns, the endless requests for something every 30 seconds on average competed with my futile attempts to read. I helped this one, took care of that one, comforted that one and for what felt like a millionth time told this one to say please and that one to say sorry if he did something wrong, to be considerate and generally act with derech eretz. In the end things got a bit too rowdy and we had to disband and go inside for supper. And yet it was exactly the kind of thing that childhood memories are made of. The nice weather, lovely view and just spending time together on a regular after school afternoon. There is such sweetness in just watching them play and interact, try out new things or practice old ones. The childish abandon, unbridled happiness of swinging away or hanging upside down or climbing or performing some heart stopping (for the adults present) stunts. It's so wonderful to see them grow up and watch the wonder on their faces when they encounter the beauty in nature. To see them watch other children play or look at the antics of the neighbor's puppy or kitten. To realize how each one's personality shines in such different ways. As the seasons change and as they change and as I change, I can only pray that we should only be blessed with more such joy as I was feeling on this late August afternoon.

The Jewish Self

I am reading this great book The Jewish Self by Rabbi Jeremy Kagan which is really perfect for Elul and introspection. It's philosophy, history and musar all rolled into one. It's kind of a heavy read but it's beautifully written and has ideas that are absolutely astounding practically on every page. It was published in 1998. It's real hashgacha that I found it now in a local book g'mach, it's such a delicious read. And what's better, you can preview the whole thing on google books and here is the link. So if you like philosophy, history and jewish thought, give it a try, it's chuck full of amazing insights just in time for Rosh Hashana.

The blessing of a brick wall

I love great quotes and I love lessons one can derive from daily living. So here is one from Randy Pausch the author of the Last Lecture. "The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something." So many times in life and especially in parenting we feel frustrated. So many times we run into brick walls with no obvious solution in sight. So here is a way to look at all these walls as a challenge and as an opportunity. It's a gift we can give ourselves and our children, not to be daunted by life's curve balls. To push forward even when you don't know where it will take you or how you can overcome a particular problem. I think Someone was really trying to tell me something today. Because I read this idea no fewer than three times today in that many books. One has to learn to live one's life with with courage and faith. Hashem has a plan for each and every one of us and we have to trust Him to take us where we need to go as long as we do out part in good faith (pun intended). We have to recognize the lessons we are constantly being presented with and appreciate the blessings even if they come in a shape of a brick wall.