Monday, September 14, 2009

All of a kind family

Someone once commented to my husband how all our kids look so different from each other. And not only do they look different on the outside they are different on the inside as well. One loves school and every morning is the one hurrying everyone along to get out of the house ASAP. The other one should have been a poster boy for unschooling, he likes to do his own thing on his own time table. One is a philosopher, one loves to bargain, one likes to cuddle and for one every day is a day of unparalleled naughtiness with a new antic in what feels like every couple of minutes. One needs order and predictability to function. Others like more spontaneity. All have strong personalities and their own opinions about life. All keep us on our toes. As soon as we think we have it all figured out, they change their stripes on us, just to keep things more interesting. I could go on and on. But when that person commented on their differences, one of my sons replied to my husband that just because we are different doesn't mean we are not brothers. There is a really important message in this statement, that is especially important to remember at this time of the year. As much as we are all different and have our individual goals, we are also part of a larger whole. We have to find a modus operandi despite all our differences. And not only that but figure out a way to function well together perhaps even to everyone's greater benefit. We keep telling our kids that we are all born with different strengths and talents as well as our personal weaknesses. We don't all have to be the same, it's not a competition because we are all on the same team. There is no need for strife and jealousy and bitterness. The same is true for the Jewish people. We don't all have to be the same and don't have to always agree on everything. We have to remember that often what we have in common is greater than what divides us. We are really all on the same team. We don't get to chose our family and so we have to find a way to get along, perhaps even to everyone's greater benefit. All parents want their kids to get along, to fight less, to be kind to each other. There are very few things sweeter to a parent than that. When there is love and unity in the family, good things happen. Hashem too wants us to try and get along, to be kinder to each other, to fight less and then inevitably good things will happen.


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