Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Call him spirited

When I was expecting my first child I wanted to read up on the subject of pregnancy and childbirth. The books that I saw, I found to be both unnecessarily graphic and unnecessarily scary. Then I came across the book entitled Bradley method - Husband Assisted Childbirth or something like that. I no longer remember any of the details and I don't recall using any of the techniques extensively during labor but what I do recall is that I went away from reading it with a very positive feeling, that childbirth should be a wonderful and even inspiring experience. Another such book that I read was Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It's a book that is meant for parents of children who are more of everything - more intense, more active, more sensitive, etc. Again I don't recall many details and I don't think any of the offered solutions were for me but this book was very helpful in reframing my perspective on parenting challenges. The author writes that very often the traits and behaviors that we find very frustrating in children are the same ones we respect in adults. We have try to see the things that we find difficult in a positive light. Such as don't call him/her difficult call him/her spirited. She writes that when you come upon many thorns chances are you are dealing with a rose. And she is right too. This small change in perspective totally changes how we view the situation and how we relate and react to our child especially if we find the child challenging. Often in parenting we are so emotionally involved we cannot react in a rational fashion when someone is pushing our buttons. But if we work on our perspective and see things in a good light it will help us be better parents and better people. So lets call him or her spirited, we can all use more Spirit in our lives anyhow:)


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