Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A pregnant pause

Boy, it's been a while!  I've been really sidelined by first intense morning sickness ( in my case all day sickness) and fatigue and now just plain fatigue.  B"H, it's for a good cause but it really made me  wonder why is it that my pregnancies are rather difficult, what could be a deeper message here.  I find that because of all the physical limitations, pregnancy for me is always a time when I turn inward and think and evaluate our parenting choices and decisions this far and plan for the future as well. I have no choice but to slow down.  Some plans have to be shelved for a while or put on a backburner.  Our usual schedule gets thrown off kilter in some ways, we have to unschool much more than we do on regular basis and yet so far the learning always goes on albeit in a different form from that originally envisioned, somehow things still get done on the   education front   even as the housework waits and piles up.  All my worries and concerns aside, the kids seem to be doing and learning just fine even as I feel that there is so much less I can do wtih them right now.  Perhaps, it's G-d's  way of telling me that He is taking care of us and will carry us along and He   doesn't need me to micromanage and worry ceaslessly about every step, the children will be just fine and we'll pick where we left off when the time is ripe just as we have done in the past.  So I'll just try to take this pregnant pause in   stride and as I heard someone mention in a lecture, "keep my eyes on the prize."  B"H, good things are happening.


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