Monday, November 9, 2009

Available in limited quantities

When one reads anthologies of writings by women there are usually at least a few articles on facing one's limitations. Parents are particularly prone to the super-parent syndrome, especially mothers, when the parent in question feels he/she has to do it all, often without much outside help, that he/she must be perfect, in order to be considered a good parent. Perhaps it's because being a parent is a very complex and multifaceted task. As the children grow and challenging situations arise, one has to keep readjusting one's priorities and coming up with practical solutions for the family to continue functioning at its' best. As much as we might want it, it's not always possible to do it all, or to do it all right away or to do it all without help. As my husband once pointed out to me, that as the family and the accompanying responsibilities grow, there is still only one of you, so something has to give. As the person grows up, he or she begins to realize that one has to make choices, that there are limitations on one's time, energy level, financial resources, etc. There is no need for parents to feel guilty about being human and it's good for children to learn to respect that their parents are people and have needs too. Every family has to make the adjustments and arrangements that are right for them. Just like people are different, family dynamics are different and therefore they will need different things. There is no one solution that will work for everyone at all times. One has to play it by ear, such is the nature of this most difficult (and most rewarding) job.


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