Wednesday, December 22, 2010

No pushing!!!

The four year old has finally gotten the one to one correspondence in counting and now delights in her newly found counting ability.  This once again reminds me that some things just cannot be hurried.  They get it when they do, each one is on his/her own time schedule.  First, there was the one who took his time with all motor development but eventually he learned to sit and crawl and walk and even got some teeth into the bargain.  Then, there was the one who always liked to learn things on his own, still doesn't like anyone to interfere with his thought and learning processes but when he gets it, he usually gets it in a deep way.  The two of them learned their alef beis and their ABCs early on, but for years afterward they just didn't understand how the letters and sounds went together but then they got it, when they did.  They still need to work on fluency but they understand the mechanics of reading.  Then, one wouldn't as much as touch a pen or draw anything, he kept saying that mommy should do it, but eventually the time came and suddenly he could and today he can write beautifully.  There are many many such examples I see with my children from toilet training, to nursing issues, to weaning,  also with various skills acquisitions, each in his/her way - it took time and patience and perseverance.  So often I find myself getting carried away,  there are so many things I'd like to teach them,  to show them today, right now.  But sometimes, the time is not yet ripe, one just can't make some things happen no matter how hard one pushes.  So a parent has to continue providing a rich environment, encouraging,  patiently teaching the necessary skills but at the same time realize that things might take longer, sometimes a lot longer than anticipated, but hopefully it will come in the end.  One should set goals but they have to be realistic and allow for individual variances and the parent (and the child) needs to be flexible enough to change tactics if need be.  But on the day when he/she finally gets it, there is a wonderful feeling of having arrived on a whole new plateau of awareness and it is sweet indeed.  So say a prayer, do your part and don't hurry things that can't be hurried, they will come when the time is right.  Certainly, inspire and encourage but don't push.


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